


Gods Help Me

by Castastrophe



Category: Supernatural, Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Buttsex, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, Smut, dor - Freeform, heh buttsex, kind of a crack fic let's be honest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 10:24:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castastrophe/pseuds/Castastrophe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam go searching for a lead into some suspiciously demon like activity out in New Mexico only to stumble across something they hadn't been expecting, nor were ever prepared for, in the form of a Nordic god.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for deansass on tumblr, because I thought it was a ridiculous idea for a ship, and then I started thinking about it and I realised it's actually a FUN idea for a ship. Then it was a little bit of an idea, then a big idea, and then I was being consumed by words, so here we are.

Dean liked to consider himself as a bit of a realist.  
  
Sure, he was maybe a little on the pessimistic side of things at times, but that didn't mean that the world wasn't kind of shit. He'd given up on any ideas about normal, and truthfully, wasn't really sure what normal meant to him any more. White picket fence, couple of kids, a wife, maybe a dog, or burning corpses, ganking demons and decapitating vamps? Either way, he wasn't too surprised or put out by having to drive halfway across the damn state because weird weather patterns were suggesting that maybe there was a little demon activity about to go down.

  
"Don't you find it a bit weird though?" Sam mused from the seat beside him, staring down at the map in his lap like it was personally offending him, "Demon activity this far out, in practically the middle of nowhere. What would any of them be hoping to get out of attacking a backwater town? It doesn't make sense."  
"We're talking _demons_ , Sammy. When was the last time those sons of bitches did anything even near predictable?" Dean offered, as Sam tilted his head and nodded in begrudging agreement, "We'll show up, gank whatever rabbit pops out of the hole, then head back to some shitty motel room in time for the Texas Ranger marathon."  
  
Sam eyed his older brother off in what was a mixture of apparent amusement and defeat, before wisely shutting up and letting Dean get his focus back on the road.  
  
Dean wasn't about to admit it, but yeah, maybe Sam had a point. It wouldn't exactly be the first time they'd chased a dead end, but years in the business had given them enough experience that it hadn't happened in a hell of a long time. If all else failed though, Dean reasoned, at least it gave Baby a chance to purr for a little while and  Angus a chance to shred it up through the speakers. She'd need a wash after this trip though, if the dust kept up anywhere near how it was at the moment, and Dean was already considering splashing out a little extra cash on a decent wax kit for once. Sam could bitchface at him all he liked, but Baby deserved a little TLC, and so what if it meant a little extra hustling? A good woman deserved to be treated like a princess, after all.  
"Uh, yeah, okay..." Sam breathed from beside him as they rose over a crest on their approach into some no name town in New Mexico, "Gonna take a guess and say that might not be demonic activity."  
  
Dean swallowed back on a lump rising in his throat, because demon activity, yeah, piece of cake, but this? The sky was forming clouds in dark spirals, electricity crackling through the air, and if it wasn't demonic activity, it sure as hell wasn't something he'd seen before, and if it was nature? Well, nature was a bitch, and it's not like you could gank a tornado.  
"You were sayin' this town hasn't had storms like these before though, right?" Dean asked, and Sam offered a small nod, his eyes flicking from the weather front ahead to the map in his lap with a little more than nervous apprehension.  
"Yeah, I mean, the weather bureau was reporting clear skies for the next couple of weeks, then yesterday morning, this," Sam gestured vaguely at the sky before them, and Dean flexed his fingers a little around the steering wheel.  
"Could still be our kind of thing then," Dean shrugged as nonchalantly as he could muster, as Sam made a non-commital sound from beside him.  
  
Their drive continued in silence as the skies loomed dark and ominous before them, setting a distinct feeling of unease seeping through Dean in a way he maybe wasn't too comfortable to admitting. That unease quickly became a torrent of outrage as Sam quietly suggested maybe getting as close to the eye of the clouds as was possible.  
"How about you get your own damn car before you start coming up with these ideas, huh Sammy?"  
"Well, what if it's something ground based?" Sam tried to reason, wide eyes fixed on Dean as the elder all but stared him down, "If it's something that's causing a disturbance from beneath the hole, wouldn't it be worthwhile checking out?"

  
"One of these days I'm gonna figure out why you're so damn selective on the shoot now and ask questions later theory, Sammy, because are you _crazy_?" Dean frowned, "You wanna head in all Starsky and Hutch when we haven't got a damn clue what's out there?"  
"And what if it is a demon? Or maybe some kind of weird artifact, or a witch, even. Maybe it's some kind of spell or some--"  
"We do not suggest the w word straight off the bat, Sammy," Dean cut in, and damn if Sam weren't a prized contender for bitchface of the year in that instance.  
"People could get _hurt_ Dean," Sam reasoned, "Do you wanna take that chance while you sit around thinking it over?"  
  
It was silent for a few moments more, as Dean's fingers flexed and curled around the steering wheel again, before green eyes flicked over to stare Sammy down once again.  
"One scratch, Sammy, just one, and you're paying for a whole new paint job."  
 Dean loved his brother, but whenever he got one of those smug smirks creeping across his goofy face, he also had a near uncontrollable urge to knock him on his ass, and so, he merely opted to clutch once again at the wheel.  
  
Dean reluctantly steered Baby off the road and headed for the eye of the storm, that familiar buzz of fear induced adrenaline rising through him and causing his breath to waver a little as they came to within a couple of miles with still no sign of any entity beneath the clouds that could be causing the storm of the century to churn above them. They just about hit the eye with nothing to so much as give them an inkling of what the hell was going on.

Just as Dean was about to turn and bitch his brother out, however, colour burst from the sky in a twisting funnel that had Sam clutching at the car door and Dean wrenching the wheel in his best attempts to avoid it. The tyres locked, struggling to gain traction on the dirt and loose stones, and Dean had a heart stopping moment where he was at least a little grateful that he'd die with Sam at his side and in the crushing metal embrace of his baby. What he hadn't expected, however, was for a figure to groggily stand up in the gloom, just before the hood of the car collected them and knocked them clear over the roof.  
  
The car finally came to a stop, Dean and Sam sharing a wide eyed stare, before scrabbling out of the car, guns drawn and ready as they approached the figure slumped against the ground.  
  
Dean got there first, hesitantly reaching his foot out and nudging it to roll onto its back. It was... a guy. As far as he could tell, no real signs of demonic possession, no weird appendages, just some bulky, sandy blonde dude that was a little worse for wear. Even then, that was probably due to the fact that Baby, and by association, Dean, had just knocked him on his ass. Dean didn't blink as he gestured with his head towards the boot and told Sammy to grab the holy water and whatever other tests they had available, and he didn't bother looking away as he heard his brother clamber to do just that. It gave the hunter a moment to not only try and calm himself down from the borderline heart attack he'd just encountered, but to further assess how much of a threat they were potentially dealing with.  
  
The guy was unconscious, but who knew how long that would last. He was well built, so it was likely he'd had some kind of training, or at least enough strength behind him to pack a decent punch. Dean leaned down, gun still drawn and aimed, and cautiously tugged back the guy's lip, and nope, no fangs either.    
"Holy water first?" Sam mused, curiosity apparent as he stared down at the blonde before them and creased his brow a little in obvious thought.  
"Go for it," Dean nodded, as Sam tossed a flask full across the figure with absolutely no response.  
"No demon, then," Dean mused, a frown of his own creeping along his lips.  
  
It was a gradual process of elimination then, but just as Sam knelt down and slid a silver blade across the figure's arm, the blonde's eyes snapped open, a gasp being torn from the man's lips as he reflexively knocked Sam square in the jaw, sending the younger hunter sprawling backwards. Dean stood upright, gun cocked and ready, as Sam rubbed tenderly at his jaw, the stranger looking down at his arm in confusion, as he clutched fingers over the wound and eyed Dean off apprehensively, and... wow. Dean would be damned to admit it out loud, but _hello_ baby blues. His fingers curled a little tighter around his weapon, and the figure remained cautiously seated, before eying Dean off with outright suspicion.  
  
"What is the meaning of your hostility?" The figure asked, and Dean was a little beyond rattled. He wasn't local, that much was certain, and he spoke with the words of someone who'd been around the block a few more times than once.  
"We, uh," Sam began cautiously, standing to take a spot beside Dean, "You fell from the sky, and we were kind of wondering where--"  
"What are you?" Dean butt in, tone firm as the figure slowly stood, holding his hands out passively.  
"I am an Asgardian," he replied bluntly, and Sam stiffened beside him, something that never failed to set Dean a little more on edge.

  
"You... You're from _Asgard_? Asgard is _real_?" Sam offered dumbly, and the blonde nodded, as he leaned over and dusted himself off, rolling his shoulders and meekly touching at the blood that was running down the side of his face.  
"Yes. I am a god amongst my people, with the power of thunder harnessed by my hands."  
"Thor..." Sam breathed, and Dean raised a skeptical brow.  
  
"Hold up, so you're a comic book character brought to life?" Dean asked, his weapon unwavering as he held it pointedly aimed at the blonde, even as a slight expression of apparent exasperation crossed the man's features.  
"Actually, the comics were based off of Norse mythology that stated th--" Sam began, before Thor let out a deep rumble of laughter.  
"If it were mythology, would I be stood here before you? Although, in fairness, my likeness was well portrayed," He smiled, and Sam slowly lowered his gun, despite Dean's glare to suggest doing so was a stupid ass idea.

  
"What are you, crazy, Sam?" Dean all but hissed, his eyes only briefly leaving the god before them, as Sammy offered a small smile and extended his hand, which Thor took with a wide one of his own and shook vigorously.  
"From every account in the history of like, ever, Thor's one of the good guys," Sam shrugged, "He's literally known as a god associated with the protection of mankind."  
 "You always believe everything you read off of the internet, Sammy?" Dean asked, and make that the second time within an hour that Sam was going for that bitchface championship title.  
"Haven't seen you complaining about it when it was saving your ass, Dean," Sam murmured, as Thor let out another low chuckle, causing both Dean and Sam to return their focus to the god.  
  
"You must be brothers," Thor said simply, and Sam gave a small, knowing smile that only caused Dean's frown to increase. Regardless, he lowered his firearm and eyed off the blonde with continuing wariness.  
"So, almighty protector," Dean tilted his head a little, his jaw set in challenge, "What's the deal with the falling out of the sky thing?"  
"There is unrest in Asgard," Thor offers simply, a crease also forming along his brow, "My father is under the belief that for the time being, my talents would best befit Midgar. Beyond that, I believe it is his unspoken wish for me to fetch my brother."  
"Your brother? Wait, you don't mean that douche Gab--" Dean began, but Sam swat at him, offering a nervous smile in Thor's direction.

  
"You mean Loki, right?" Sam offers, and whilst Thor looks on suspiciously, he nods regardless.  
"Yes. He came to Midgar with the intent of seeking solitude, but his realm needs him," Thor nodded, letting out a soft sigh and crossing his arms across his broad chest, "He is likely to be in disguise, but I will be able to know him upon sight. Unfortunately, due to the battle before I was sent here, the manner in which I have arrived, and the incident involving your vehicle, I will need time to recover, and perhaps your assistance, if you would be willing to provide it."  
  
"Sure. I don't see why n--"  
"No way in hell, champ," Dean shook his head, before Sam even had the chance to finish roping them into even more bullshit that wasn't in their job description, "Look, I get that you've got a bit of a problem over on your world and all that, but we have enough on our plate with looking after this planet, let alone taking on the crap from another."  
" _Dean_ ," Sam urged, exasperation apparent, but Thor merely shook his head.  
"I understand where your brother speaks from," Thor offered, clapping a hand on Sam's shoulder and offering a reassuring squeeze, "It is a burden that is a heavy one to bare. Yet, I'd not have come to Midgar if I'd not have thought you may be in a danger of your own."  
  
Dean stared Thor down for a moment, trying to swallow on the lump of yeah, mild intimidation, rising in his throat. He was in the presence of a god, someone literal legends were made out of, and despite how many of the bastards they'd ganked or witnessed being ganked it was still a little overwhelming. He then shifted his gaze just slightly, and let a soft curse fall from under his breath as he bore witness to a couple of cars heading in their direction, trails of dust kicked up behind them. It was a moment of hesitation, where he eyed his baby off with a sick feeling resting heavy in his stomach, before he bit the proverbial bullet and gestured at her.

  
"Alright Goldilocks, get in the car," Dean huffed, turning and heading for the driver's seat, "We've got company heading our way."  
Sam let out a small noise of what appeared to be concern, before Dean pulled himself into the vehicle and waited patiently for the few moments it took for Sam and Thor to climb in respectively. Add it to the list of things he still wasn't gonna say out loud, but okay, maybe the scenery in the rear-view mirror wasn't so bad with their brooding Disney princess in the back seat, fixating on Dean with a storm filled suspicion and seemingly reluctant dependance that shot a little tendril of smug pleasure through the older Winchester.  
  
Big god and all, but it was Dean and Sam that he was having to rely on, and if that wasn't at least a little bit satisfying, then Dean was a damned liar.  
  
They managed to shake whoever was heading their way off, but Dean had the more than specific feeling that Thor was probably the type of guy who would garner a fair amount of attention in any instance. With that in mind, he kept on driving to find a motel that was far enough from the scene to avoid too much attention or risk of the god being found, and not too far that he'd end up passing out behind the wheel in the process. The entire time, Sam chattered away to Thor about Norse mythology, rattling off about eight thousand different questions that meant nothing to Dean other than a dull ache forming across his temples, but Thor seemed happy to answer regardless.

They were about an hour and a half into their drive when Castiel called. Sam had given an approximate location without a second thought, and Dean was gazing wide eyed at his brother in the few second lapse between the words leaving Sam's lips and the rustle of wings in the back seat, praying to any deity that would listen that they weren't about to have some kind of supernatural showdown all over Baby's interior.  
  
"Hello, Dean," Castiel offered quietly from his seat, "Sam."  
"Castiel! Even under the heat of a desert sun, your coat remains," Thor grinned teasingly, clapping an arm around the angel's shoulders as Castiel shuffled awkwardly and Sam and Dean shared equally surprised expressions, "It has been a while, my friend."  
"Hello, Thor. It has indeed," Castiel nodded politely, voice still even and gravel rough as Dean pulled up at a stoplight and turned to look back at the god with an arm still resting casually around the angel's shoulder. 

"You _know_ each other?" Dean pressed, and Thor's smile softened a little as he ruffled Castiel's hair in answer.  
"I have known Castiel for quite some time, in more than one vessel even," Thor grinned, rough housing Castiel as the angel smiled slightly uncomfortably, causing amusement to lick at Dean's own lips. For someone who never seemed to respect the personal space of others, he was seemingly uncomfortable with the invasion of his own.  
"What brings you here, son of Odin?" Castiel asked calmly, as Thor finally removed his arm and rest on his knees, Dean continuing driving as Thor began to recount the same story he had shared with Dean and Sam in their time together. When he was done, Dean flicked a gaze to the rear-view mirror and bit back his amusement at the curious little head tilt that Castiel was providing the god, knowing far too well how it was to be on the receiving end of one of those.  
  
Thor seemed not to be phased, however, and merely began reminiscing over times in the past where apparently, angels and Asgardians had fought side by side in their attempts to protect mankind. Much to Dean's continuing favour towards their new god accomplice, Castiel gradually became more at ease as they shared their stories together, and a small yet genuine smile was continuing to spread across the angel's face. If he hadn't thought the blonde was on the right side previously, well, that kind of swung it in the guy's favour, and hey, the fact that he wasn't so bad to look at? That was just a bonus.    
  
"Castiel, I'm afraid I must be blunt in my asking, but are you aware of my brother's whereabouts?" Thor asked, once the catch up chat was out the way and Sam was practically drooling with the knowledge he'd just listened in on.  
"He is considered an archangel in our world by the name of Gabriel," Castiel explained with a tinge of regret to his voice, "He is a little more... brazen... in our realm than in yours, and is unfortunately capable of keeping himself hidden from myself and from the Host, should he wish to do so."  
"He is slippery, yes," Thor smiled warmly, "But he has his weaknesses, I'm sure. I may need your assistance in luring him to meet with me, my friend."  
At that, Castiel's eyes widened slightly, before his brows furrowed back into their usual scowl of righteousness or whatever he was going for for mood of the day, Dean could never really tell.

  
"You would have me attempt to trick _the_ trickster?" Castiel offered as incredulously as he could, and Thor chuckled.  
"Your involvement will be minor. I know enough of my brother to lure him either way, but your knowledge would be of great assistance," Thor nodded, and Castiel nodded, albeit reluctantly.  
"I'll see what I can do," He offered, before a secondary rustling signaled yet another abrupt departure from the angel.  
  
Dean and Sam exchanged a sidelong glance that spoke volumes about just how messed up the entire situation was, before Thor was leaning forward on the front seat and grinning broadly between the two of them.  
"Sam, Dean, to find you are friends with Castiel only puts me more at ease to have you as brothers in arms," He offered, placing an arm on a shoulder of each of them, much to Sam's amusement and Dean's immediate discomfort.  
"Happy to help," Sam nodded, a smile spread wide across his cheeks as he eyed Dean off, the elder Winchester's jaw steadily growing tighter, his cheeks flushing slightly in more of a tell than he was going to admit. Still, Sam knew him better than anybody, except for maybe Bobby, and his little brother didn't need to say a word for Dean to know he'd been busted pretty hard.

  
"Yeah, well, just keep your paws to yourself there, pikachu," Dean offered gruffly, casually shrugging out of the god's grip as Sam disguised a laugh as a cough into his hand.  
"I am unfamiliar with that term," Thor remarked, and Dean pinched at the bridge of his nose briefly, before pulling into the parking lot of a motel.  
"I get why you and Cas are friends, now," Dean offered dryly, and Sam gave a chiding look which hey, screw him, because it really had no place being there when Dean was right.  
  
Sam went in to book them a couple of rooms, and Dean was reluctantly stuck babysitting the most conspicuous god in the history of the planet, who made a point of smiling politely at each person who offered him so much as a sidelong glance. Dean tugged at the blonde's wrist, offering a glance around to ensure he wasn't garnering even more attention by doing so, before fixing the god with a frown.  
"What are you doing, man? We're trying to keep us a little incognito," Dean murmured, and Thor at least had the good grace to look a little bashful, which yeah, maybe did a few things to add to the little twist and turn thing that Dean's stomach was doing.  
  
"My apologies. I enjoy the company of humans, and at time, forget the customs that they hold. Back home, it is common place to acknowledge those who make eye contact as a sign of good will," Thor tipped his head a little in apology, and Dean faltered a little at the earnest smile that still rest along the blonde's lips and... god damn he was not gonna be a pussy about this weird little crush thing he had going on.    
"Hey, it's uh... It's alright and all. Just tone it down a bit," Dean shrugged, thanking every deity out there when Sam returned with two motel keys, only for his praise to deflate considerably when they played rock paper scissors to determine who'd get their own room, and Dean lost. 

"That game's a load of crap," He huffed, swinging open the door of the stuffy craphole he'd now be sharing with a god, of all things.  
  
He breathed in the mixture of mildew, questionable past guests and what wouldn't surprise him if it was asbestos, and screwed up his nose slightly in distaste.

Smelled like home.

Thor, who had taken some of the bags from the boot of the Impala, smirked as he passed Dean and clapped the hunter reassuringly on the shoulder.  
"It may not be fit for royalty, but any abode can become a palace depending on its occupants," Thor offered as he dumped one of the weapon bags on the floor and cast a gaze around the room, "Besides, there is much to be said about spending time elsewhere and only using sleep chambers for the necessary."

"Yeah, good work Confuscius," Dean muttered, placing his own bag down and running a hand through his hair as he eyed off the sorry state of the shower, "I'd usually have shotgun on the shower, but..."  
He gestured at Thor then, still coated with a mixture of blood and dirt, and the blonde offered a grin.  
"But I repulse you, my friend, is that not it? My feelings are damaged beyond repair," He teased, and Dean made a point of rolling his eyes and demanding he go and have a damn shower, before digging through the mini bar for a beer whilst Thor disappeared into the bathroom, laughter spilling from his lips all the while.    
  
The hunter fell back onto one of the beds and popped the cap from his bottle, before downing a half of it in one go. Something was telling him he'd need something a little stronger than beer, however, if he was ever going to survive this encounter. When he signed up to the whole 'mostly straight' business, he hadn't really counted on a blue eyed blonde haired poster boy falling from the sky and flexing a bit for that all to go a little more than pear shaped. Sure, he'd dabbled in his fair share of brief flings or one night stands with a couple of dudes, but they weren't meant to reel him in and think filthy thoughts when he was still stone cold sober and shit damn was he thinking them.  
  
He was midway through a full blown big gay crisis when the bathroom door swung open and Thor stepped out in nothing but a towel, lion's mane hair wet and clinging to the curve of his neck, dropping water beads across tanned and taught skin, and holy shit, _yes_ , Dean was so very gay for this piece of work that he was spluttering on his beer over.

Thor frowned slightly in concern, before approaching the Winchester's side and thumping him on the back with a firm hand and it took every ounce of willpower that Dean held to not panic and scrabble away from the blonde lest he get a little too fidgety and de-towel him where he stood.  
"Take care when drinking, my friend," Thor offered, squeezing Dean's shoulder before heading back to the bathroom to inspect the wounds on his chest and forehead in the mirror, "It is not a death fit for Valhalla, to choke on one's poison of choice."  
"This?" Dean scoffed, patting hischest to ease the last of his coughing fit, "This isn't my poison of choice. This is a mini fridge last resort."

  
Thor cast a sidelong look at Dean then, a teasing smile along his lips before he turned back to the mirror, still in nothing but a towel, and Dean's tongue was quickly becoming leaden in his mouth.

  
"I take it you're more of a lover of fine wine then, Dean Winchester?" Thor offered, and Dean gaped a little in indignation.  
"Are you... Are you mocking me, thunder thighs?" Dean huffed, and Thor chuckled low in his throat, before turning to face Dean properly.  
"Humans, in my experience, have had an infinitely lower tolerance to alcohol than the Asgardians of old," He grinned, "The only being on this planet I have seen keep pace with the likes of me was Castiel, and he is a being not of this plane."  
  
If there was one thing Dean could appreciate, and had thrived on for the entirety of his life, it was a challenge.  
  
"Put some damn clothes on, we're going out," Dean huffed, tossing back the rest of his beer and gesturing at the pile of clan clothes by his bed, before storming over to the next room to bang on Sam's door. His brother opened it shortly afterwards, and an amused smile licked at Sam's lips at the determination set fierce in Dean's eyes.  
"We're going drinking. You coming?" Dean asked bluntly, and Sam let out a soft sigh, his smile never wavering.  
"You sure you don't want some time alone or anything?" Sam asked quietly, and Dean was not fighting back a blush as he narrowed his eyes warningly.  
"Sammy, I swear to God--"  
"Alright, alright!" Sam laughed, "Let me pull my shoes on and grab my wallet. I'll meet you at the car."

  
As the door closed in Dean's face and he heard Sam bitching as he got ready, Thor came out of their room in a pair of Dean's jeans and one of his shirts that was really just a little too small for the god's broad shoulders, and he thought for the first time that night that this was possibly a _really_ bad idea.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean can handle alcohol well. Just, you know, not as well as a god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a terrible person and this is very late, and I am sorry deansass, but ily. I hope you like it.

Dean did his absolute best to glare across the table at Sam, who was offering an amused expression over the rim of his barely touched whiskey, as Thor flung an arm across Dean's shoulder and laughed low in his chest.

"Dean Winchester, you were doing so well in disproving me!" Thor laughed, loud and clear, and Dean was fairly certain that at least half of the bar was looking their way now, but he coud barely focus his attention enough to see Sammy's knowing little smirk, let alone worry about a bunch of strangers.

"Who said I've stopped?" Dean slurred a little, knocking back the rest of whiskey in his own glass and trying to keep the contents of his stomach down as Thor jostled him about as he chattered away.

  


For the fourth time that night, Dean considered the thought that this may have been a REALLY bad idea.

  


Sam had done the wise thing and paced himself, and really, what had Dean expected beyond that? The kid was smarter than he was, and that was why his baby brother was stuck babysitting him and a freaking god in his spare time. The best part though, Dean reasoned, that despite Sam's ocassional bitchface about the manner, he knew that the younger would have done it without complaint either way.

"The moment you start paying for drinks, Pikachu, you can feel free to mock me at will," Dean scowled, swaying just slightly as he eyed off the group of drinks still waiting for him on the table.

  


_Really_. Bad. Idea.

  


"I possess none of your Midgardian currency, my friend, or I most certainly would endeavour to,” Thor jeered, jostling Dean once again as the hunter felt his stomach churn. He had all but forgotten why this had seemed like a good idea, until Thor leaned over to grin at him, all white teeth, baby blues and wavy hair, and oh yeah _,_ _that_ was why.

  


He needed another drink.

  


As he reached for the next glass, however, Sammy was right there, front and centre, with a disapproving bitchface big enough to make Satan himself reconsider his next actions.

“Think you might have had enough, don't you?” Sam chided, and Dean fixed him with his blankest unmoving stare that he could manage with the Earth tilting on its axis around him, as his little brother raised a disbelieving brow and the two became locked in a stalemate.

“Your brother has merit in his concern for your welfare, Dean,” Thor smiled placatingly, “Perhaps you should heed his word and we may continue our celebrations at some other time.”

Dean would admit to being many things; a cheater, a scammer, a thief, a bully at times. But he would seldom admit to being a quitter.

  


“We're at least finishing the drinks on the table,” Dean pointed at Sammy with his most sincere 'I'm older than you, so shut the hell up' expression, to which Sam rolled his eyes and sat back moodily against the booth's cushioning.

Dean would have to deal with the lecture of a lifetime by the end of tomorrow, but for the time being, it was worth it to try and drown out the heat flooding through him where Thor still had his arm casually braced.

  


The God threw back another drink with ease and waited patiently as Dean attempted to do the same. He got about halfway through, before spluttering aggressively and trying his damnedest to not puke all over the tabletop. Thor slapped him on the back, large palm running soothing circles along Dean's shoulders, and the hunter found enough reasoning behind the gesture to slam back the rest of his drink. Then another. And one more after that, for, you know, luck or something.

  


“...Dean?” Sam began, concern etched across his features, and Dean made to offer assurances, a mere moment before his head hit the table top and the world faded from view.

 

* * *

 

  


The trip home for Dean was a blur of Sam and Thor's voices, a few desperate lunges to stick his head out the window cause God forbid he taint Baby with his bourbon laden puke, and the occasional grinning face of Thor over the front seat.

  


After that, Thor had pulled him from the backseat and all but manhandled him over his shoulder, carrying him into their motel room and dumping the limp form of a thoroughly tanked Dean Winchester onto the bed.

  


Sam had haphazardly dumped a bucket by Dean's bed, before wishing the God luck and slinking off to his own room, much to Dean's disgust. What kind of a traitorous brother had he raised?

“Shall you require assistance with changing?” Thor asked cheerfully, as Dean tried his hardest to set the God alight on the spot with his glare alone.

“This was a bad idea,” Dean offered instead, leaning back and resting his arm across his eyes in his attempts to stop the world from spinning. Dean Winchester could handle his booze. He'd developed more than one unhealthy drinking habit over the years, ad had drank himself to sleep on far more than the odd occasion. It was a necessity for the job sometimes, he thought, and he'd figured that what didn't kill him had only made him stronger in past, but this? This was a new level of hell.

  


He'd never drink again.

  


At least not for the rest of the month, anyway.

  


Week.

  


Next few days.

  


“You drank valiantly, Dean Winchester,” Thor offered, as Dean became abruptly aware of a tugging on his shoes and _oh God, no,_ Thor was _actually_ going to help him strip.

  


“Hey hey hey, I know how to do that,” Dean protested, sitting up a heck of a lot quicker than he probably ought to have, and promptly regretting it as his stomach lurched violently. He just managed to stick his head over the side of the bed and near enough to the bucket to not make a _complete_ mess, before he was hurling up another ten dollars or so worth of booze. What kind of bootleg liquor were they selling at that country bar anyway?

  


Dean was vaguely aware of the low chuckle of amusement coming from Thor's general direction and he was so very tempted to kick out a leg and hope for a crotch shot, but his limbs weren't co-operating with his brain, so he opted for a low groan instead.

“Allow me, Dean Winchester,” Thor offered lightly, as he once again started to tug on Dean's shoes and fuck it, if he was going to hell (again) for potentially getting an inappropriate boner for an ethereal being, it'd probably be better than how he felt now anyway. So, reluctantly, he laid still and allowed Thor to tug off his shoes and dump them unceremoniously by the door.

“Not for nothing, champ,” Dean slurred, his mouth moving faster than his leaden mind, “But the last time I let someone undress me, I ended up getting laid.”

Thor chuckled again, and Dean may very well have been imagining it, but it sounded a little darker, a little more promising, and oh _shit_ , here comes that inappropriate boner.

  


“The last person I undressed, my friend, also ended up 'laid', as you say,” He offered casually, teasingly, “So it seems our worlds have some things in common.”

Well, he'd be damned if that didn't set off all sorts of mental images spiralling through Dean's filthy mind, and he passed off the broken little groan that slipped past his lips as one of inebriation and hoped for the best.

  


Dean's socks were the next to go, as Thor idly chattered about his days in Asgard, and the differences and likenesses between both of their worlds, but Dean began to lose attention the second that the god got to work on his belt because those giant hands that could probably kill a man with the barest of twists were all but pinning him down as he worked the notches free from their loops and _God_ , Dean should really be paying more attention to what Thor was saying, but it was a harder task than he'd expected, no pun intended.

  


With a few more manoeuvres, his belt was gone, and shortly after that, Thor had removed Dean's jeans with little more than a singular tug, still blissfully unaware of how very traitorous Dean's body was.

  


“My brother, as well,” Thor continued his chatter, as he swam into Dean's view and began to get to work on unbuttoning the hunter's shirt, “He was always the last to leave at our feasts. Always fond of drinking, he was, and more often than not, he used his skills to drink as much as he could whilst displaying little of the effects. It was a party trick that was impressive to say the least.”

“Yeah, well, Sammy was always a sassy drunk,” Dean shrugged as best as he could manage, swallowing hard as the god's fingers continued their path in unbuttoning the hunter's garments, “Get a little too much liquor in him and he gets either sappy or puts you in your place for shit you didn't even realise he was carrying a grudge about.”

“I'm sure he shows his true intentions whilst under the influence,” Thor nodded with an amused smile, tugging the top shirt from Dean's shoulders and being generally just too close and too interesting for Dean's liking, “Many people do.”

  


Suddenly, it was like a switch clicking in Dean's mind.

  


Best case scenario, he'd end up with a hunk of god in his bed. Worst case scenario, he'd blame it on the alcohol and somehow make sure that Sammy never found out. Either way, Thor was _right there_ and everything in Dean's inebriated mind was saying go for it.

“Hey,” Dean offered simply, lopsided smirk crossing his lips as Thor paused his ministrations and met the hunter's gaze, moments before Dean was hazily reaching a hand into thick locks of hair (and holy shit, did they feel just as good as he'd imagined) and pulling the god to his mouth with a kind of unrestrained hunger he may have been able to reign in were he a sober, better man.

  


Thor's hands fell to each side of Dean's head, supporting his weight from what Dean knew was a unexpected tilt for the god, and a low groan escaped the god's mouth at around the same time that Dean was sliding his tongue across parched lips and silently begging for an opportunity to go a little deeper. Much to the hunter's immediate relief and surging want, Thor's mouth parted and his own tongue met Dean's with an intensity to rival the hunter's own. Dean had a brief moment of 'oh gross' about what was surely a mix of booze and vomit taste that Thor was getting a mouthful of, before the god was sucking Dean's tongue just enough to have the hunter drunkenly scrabbling at the god's shoulder blades for some grip to reality because _holy shit._ He let out a stuttered gasp into Thor's mouth then, as the blonde's attentions travelled just that little lower, pulling the plush of Dean's lower lip between his teeth and tugging just slightly.

  


Thor then thread his fingers through Dean's hair, guiding him into a sitting position, his other hand sliding to press against the hunter's lower back and pull him closer, _closer_ , and Dean was drowning in the heat and dizzy from the sensations coursing through him.

  


By the time Dean realised, however, that the dizziness may have been from something a little more than arousal, the world was fading to black once again.

 

* * *

  


Dean had had his fair share of deaths throughout his time on Earth, and when he awoke the next morning, he was fairly certain that death itself may have been a kinder option. His point was further proven when he blearily opened his eyes to find his smug faced brother sitting at the table beside the motel window, drinking one of those piece of crap health drinks with the grass and all that he was so fond of, with a grease stained paper bag on the table next to him.

“There better be at _least_ three bacon cheeseburgers in that bag, Sammy, so help me God,” Dean grumbled into his pillow, as he turned his face to block out the light.

“There might be, depending on how quickly you admit that you're an idiot,” Sam offered casually, slurping noisily enough to cause Dean to flinch and roll over enough to flip his brother the bird.

  


The usual post-drinking grogginess had set in for the hunter, and it had set in hard and fast. A solid part of him was struggling desperately to remember something that he _knew_ had been important, but all he could focus on was the intense throbbing behind his eyes and fiercely his mouth tasted of carpet trimmings and tree bark. That, and the incessant tapping of his brother's fingers across his laptop keys, which Dean was convinced was an intentional hindrance designed to piss him off, because NOBODY had to type that loudly.

  


“Do you not have someone else to piss off right now? Cas, maybe? Or maybe you could give Garth a call or, you know, anyone that isn't here, in this vicinity?” Dean mumbled, and he could _feel_ Sammy's smirk in response, as his brother noisily continued to drink and type.

“So, Cas dropped me a text about an hour back, says he might have a lead on Gabriel's whereabouts,” Sam remarked, seemingly disregarding his brother's comment entirely, “Thor's just grabbed his hammer and up and disappeared to God only knows where to hunt the guy down.”

So, Dean figured, Sam was pissing him off because Thor hadn't taken him with him, or God knows what the little bitch's problem was this ti--

  


Thor.

  


Dean buried his face further into his pillow and groaned louder than was probably necessary, to which Sam sighed in response.

“This is your own fault. If you're expecting sympathy, you've come to the wrong person,” Sam offered, bitchface apparent even in his tone, “Anyway, we'll need to probably head out in about an hour, so if you can drag your sorry ass out of bed, that'd be helpful.”

Dean was completely okay with Sam thinking his self pity was alcohol related, and _not_ related to the fact that he had a pretty feisty make out session with an Adonis and had passed out before even hitting second base.

  


So, action plan.

  


He could play cool calm and collected. Be chilled out about the whole thing, because hey, Dean Winchester was nothing _but_ cool, calm and collected, and that was expected in any given scenario.

  


He could do what his mind was screaming to do, which was to ignore the situation entirely and pray to every deity in existence that Thor would shut up and do the same.

  


He could play the adult about it, sit Thor down, and talk about _feelings_ like grown _adults_ , and Jesus _Christ_ , the thought alone was enough to make his skin crawl.

  


He could go for the default option to play it by ear and hope to God that the first words to come out of Thor's mouth when he returned were _not_ catastrophically incriminating and enough to provide Sam with bullying material for the rest of their lives.

  


Regardless, any and all scenarios that looped through his head were not going to end well, and so, he reluctantly dragged himself from bed and headed into the shower with fresh clothes, pointedly ignoring whatever sarcastic remark Sam had snorted at him along the way.

  


After a shower in which Dean had spent a majority of it glaring at the tiles on the wall and willing them to stop spinning, he dragged his sorry ass out and towelled himself off, before throwing on his clothes and opening the door back to the motel room in a cloud of steam. He seized just briefly, as he eyed off the recently returned Thor, who was stuffing his face with one of _Dean's_ cheeseburgers, before spontaneously deciding to play things by ear and hoping for the best.

“Ah, you didn't drown,” Sam remarked, not even looking up from his laptop, as Dean muttered a few choice insults under his breath and headed for the pain killers he had stashed in his duffel bag.

“Good morning, Dean Winchester,” Thor offered cheerfully, offering a sneaky wink at the hunter as he passed, and _oh_.

  


That's how it was going to be.

  


“Yeah, morning Goldilocks,” Dean grumbled, despite the rising heat in his cheeks and damn it, he should not be getting flustered so easily.

“Trust you didn't destroy anything on your little field trip?” Dean offered casually, and Thor chuckled in response.

“Only the minimal amount,” The god replied, and Dean was hard bent to keep a smile from licking at his lips.

  


They briefly spoke action plans then, while Dean rescued the last two cheeseburgers from Thor's reach and resolutely did _not_ watch the god carelessly lick the grease from his fingers as he stuffed his own cheeseburgers into his mouth.

  


Cas' lead had been a bust, as it was prone to being when Gabriel did _not_ want to be found, and Thor shrugged off the news with a smile along his lips.

  


“Loki is seldom found easily. Castiel, whilst well meaning, is likely taking the wrong approach,” Thor shrugged, wiping his hands on his pants, “My brother is easiest to lure out, rather than pursue. He finds amusement in tricking you both in particular, does he not?”

“You could say that,” Sam frowned, and Dean snorted around a mouthful of ground beef.

“Garth and I have a theory that your bro might be a little more than fond of ole Sammy here,” Dean shrugged, as Sam pointedly fixed his bitchface supreme in Dean's direction, before continuing speaking as if his brother hadn't added a comment at all.

“He has fooled around with us in the past, mainly under the guise of teaching some kind of lesson or making a point,” Sam commented, tapping furiously at his laptop keys, “There's so many different lores on tricksters, on Loki, on _Gabriel_ , that it's hard to tell where the common ground lays with all of them.”

“You don't need lore, bookworm,” Dean offered, “We have someone here who knows the damn guy personally. If Thor can't snag his own little brother, then who can?”

  


“Your brother has raised an interesting point, however, Sam Winchester,” Thor mused, brows furrowing in thought, “Do you also believe that Loki may have personal interest in you?”

Sam's brows creased as well, as he ran a hand through shaggy locks and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“I don't think... I mean, he complimented my rims once, but that was...” Sam hesitated, before shaking his head and glaring pointedly at Dean, as if coming to his senses, “ _No_ , I don't. Dean's being a jackass.”

Dean grinned around his burger, and a grin found its way across Thor's lips as well, as Sam pointedly returned his attentions to his laptop and remained silent for several moments before speaking again.

“Well in that case, we should at least head somewhere closer to where Cas has set up camp so if we need a little additional angel interference, we've got backup on hand,” Sam commented, before snapping his laptop closed and tucking it under his arm, “I'm gonna go check us out. Make sure you don't leave anything behind, and I'll meet you in the car.”

  


With that, Sam was gone in an almost unnoticeable flick of his hair, the door closing a little firmer than was necessary behind him. Dean barely had time to contemplate the fact that he'd be dealing with a bitchy little brother for the rest of the day, before a more immediate realisation hit him. Sammy had left the room. The room where Dean and Thor were. Now alone.

  


He put the last of his cheeseburger in his mouth and chewed languidly, offering a sidelong glance, only to find Thor already smirking at him. He paused chewing for just a moment, before clearing his throat.

“Are you uncomfortable around me, now that you have made your attraction known?” Thor asked bluntly, and Dean spluttered around the last remnants of his burger, thumping on his chest to clear a little of the blockage.

“No, no, it's not...” Dean stammered, running a hand through his hair, “I... maybe?”

Thor chuckled, another of those dark, low sounds that reverberated through both his chest and Dean's and the hunter felt that itching heat beginning to creep under his skin once again and damn it, this had to stop happening. He wasn't a horny teenager any more, he reminded himself, although his dick seemed to have other ideas, twitching a little in his jeans as Thor stood and positioned himself before the hunter, gaze dark and intense as he smirked down.

  


There was something about being the weaker force in a sexual situation that sent Dean's brain reeling. The thought that the figure before him could likely crush him with a single weight across the windpipe, or pin him so firmly to the bed that he may very well bruise? Well, that _did_ things to him.

  


“Do you want me, Dean Winchester?” Thor murmured, voice husked as he leaned closer, breath hot against Dean's skin as he crowded into the hunter's personal space, sending every nerve in Dean's body alight.

“Yes,” Dean somehow managed to breathe, as Thor leaned close enough for the hunter to feel the moisture amongst Thor's breath against his ear.

“Rest assured then, my friend,” Thor murmured, Dean's eyes drifting closed of their own accord, “When I have the time, I will have you.”

His last words brushed his lips against the shell of Dean's ears and had he been a less resilient man, it may very well have undone the hunter then and there. Instead it sent shivers along his spine and goosebumps along his skin.

  


All too quickly, however, Thor was pulling back, eyes dark, but smile light as he adjusted into a sense of normality.

  


“We should go, before your brother grows concerned,” Thor offered casually, as he winked once more and headed from the hotel room.

  


Dean needed a few more minutes to himself before he was able to do the same.

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting anything on here, and I am NOT SORRY. Any love/feedback is appreciated, and I will continue updating when...ever?


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